Raising Future Adults

I tend to be a nice person, sometimes too nice for my own good. When my oldest was little, I was especially accommodating to the best of my ability because he had a lot of serious problems and I was his only reliable ally so I felt he needed to feel secure. Starting when he was about seven years old, he spent about two years asking me like ten times a day "Mom, can I use the bathroom." And I would reply very pleasantly and give him assurances that "Of course you can use the bathroom. You don't need to ask, honey. Just go." This was so pleasant and wonderful for him that he couldn't get enough of it. It did NOTHING to dissuage him from asking me ten million times. This was a HUGE energy drain and aggravation for me under very difficult cirbumstances. I have health problems myself and I was frequently short of sleep and I was raising two special-needs sons, not just one. This habit of his was threatening to be the straw that broke the camel's back. S...