I tend to be a nice person, sometimes too nice for my own good. When my oldest was little, I was especially accommodating to the best of my ability because he had a lot of serious problems and I was his only reliable ally so I felt he needed to feel secure.
Starting when he was about seven years old, he spent about two years asking me like ten times a day "Mom, can I use the bathroom." And I would reply very pleasantly and give him assurances that "Of course you can use the bathroom. You don't need to ask, honey. Just go."
This was so pleasant and wonderful for him that he couldn't get enough of it. It did NOTHING to dissuage him from asking me ten million times.
This was a HUGE energy drain and aggravation for me under very difficult cirbumstances. I have health problems myself and I was frequently short of sleep and I was raising two special-needs sons, not just one. This habit of his was threatening to be the straw that broke the camel's back.
So when he was about nine and a little more stable than he had been and I felt like maybe he could survive a bit of snark from his mother, one day I replied to that question with "No. Absolutely NOT. Tie a knot in it. I am having all bathrooms removed from our apartment and you are never using the bathroom here again."
I held my breath to see if I had crushed his little soul or not and watched the gears furiously churning behind his little eyes. Then he let out a sigh and walked off to the bathroom without saying another word.
After that, he asked a lot less. I consistently replied with "No. Tie a knot in it."
Two weeks of telling him to "tie a knot in it" on the few occasions that he asked broke him of a long-standing utterly crazy making bad habit that was driving me up the wall and over the other side.
Starting when he was about seven years old, he spent about two years asking me like ten times a day "Mom, can I use the bathroom." And I would reply very pleasantly and give him assurances that "Of course you can use the bathroom. You don't need to ask, honey. Just go."
This was so pleasant and wonderful for him that he couldn't get enough of it. It did NOTHING to dissuage him from asking me ten million times.
This was a HUGE energy drain and aggravation for me under very difficult cirbumstances. I have health problems myself and I was frequently short of sleep and I was raising two special-needs sons, not just one. This habit of his was threatening to be the straw that broke the camel's back.
So when he was about nine and a little more stable than he had been and I felt like maybe he could survive a bit of snark from his mother, one day I replied to that question with "No. Absolutely NOT. Tie a knot in it. I am having all bathrooms removed from our apartment and you are never using the bathroom here again."
I held my breath to see if I had crushed his little soul or not and watched the gears furiously churning behind his little eyes. Then he let out a sigh and walked off to the bathroom without saying another word.
After that, he asked a lot less. I consistently replied with "No. Tie a knot in it."
Two weeks of telling him to "tie a knot in it" on the few occasions that he asked broke him of a long-standing utterly crazy making bad habit that was driving me up the wall and over the other side.