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Bathroom Policy

If you have a baby or special-needs toddler or preschooler, it can be tough to get a minute to yourself. This can make it challenging to use the toilet or get a shower.

When my kids were little, I had an open door policy on mom being in the bathroom. If they needed something, they could barge in on me and talk at me while I was on the toilet or in the shower.

I had a strict locked door policy for sexy times. I have no cutesy stories about them walking in on me during sex, but they could come bug mom when mom was in the bathroom.

Just before my oldest turned two, I found out I was pregnant and a week or two later I got notice I was getting a better apartment. I moved shortly.

This new apartment had a nicely designed bathroom. My two-year-old often sat on the wide ledge at the end of the tub -- enclosed on two sides by walls, so he wasn't going to fall -- while I showered and I would talk at him.

This is the ONLY reason I was able to shower consistently while pregnant. He was a holy terror and would dismantle stuff while I was in the shower if he wasn't sitting right there "talking" with mom while I showered.

I once came out the shower to find a cheap plastic bookshelf torn apart and hundreds of books strewn across the living room. So if at all possible, I wanted to keep an eye on the kid WHILE showering.

The bathroom was spacious enough to take a wheeled bassinet into it and pull it up to the shower. After his brother was born, I did sometimes move the bassinet into the bathroom to deal with my awake infant and also get a much-needed shower.

Pro tip: If hygiene is a serious challenge, a shorter haircut may help you get showered more quickly while leaving less opportunity for baby to grab your hair and try to rip it out.

Get creative if necessary, but find ways to take care of yourself while keeping an eye on the little ones. A mom who isn't eating and isn't managing to use the toilet and isn't managing to shower is not going to be at their best and this will undermine your parenting efforts.

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